By
Ibn Abdillah As-sudaisiy Al-Iloori
It is often very sad to detect that some people don’t enjoy intimacy in their marriages. In most cases, it is as a result of their partners not valuing it or not paying proper attention to it. If you are not ready for intercourse, please don’t get married.
Firstly, among all the enjoyments of this life, none is comparable to sound and healthy intimacy. It stands out. Apart from the fact that it has many health benefits, it is an act of ‘ibadah. Then, the purpose of marriage is to be able to lower the gaze from unlawful contents and to be protected from Zina (fornication or adultery). So, the essence of marriage will be defeated if both parties do not give intimacy the kind of attention it deserves.
Due to sex starvation, a lot of people are falling into pornography, masturbation and even actual Zina (adultery) despite being married. Denying a spouse intimacy or non-controversial halāl fantasies when it is obvious he or she can’t get it elsewhere is a great sin in the sight of Allāh. If you need help on your sexual health, seek it from appropriate channels. Do not push your spouse towards harām.
As for those that are yet to get married, it is very important to ensure that you marry someone that is likely to be sexually compatible with you. Don’t just assume. To ensure that your prospective spouse is on the same page with you to an extent is not rocket science. All you need to do is to make sure he or she reads beneficial books on sex and intimacy. If he or she is lazy in reading, there are decent and beneficial videos on it. For instance, read “Halāl Sex and Intimacy” and “Garment of Compassion” separately before marriage. Don’t accept “I will read it later”.
Our sisters should read “The Lady Collection” and other beneficial books on this topic written by reputable Muslim sisters. The kind of cases before us regarding this issue are very sad and disgusting.
May Allāh guide us aright.
